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Dealing With In Laws

How do people deal with overbearing in laws?

Advice From Mother... in law

***To see more of this mother goose in law and the daughter in law that she's driving loony, check out In Law Problems***

Dear Dr. Julia,

When are you going to give us some advice on how to deal with in-laws?

As a married...er...female.. you must have some insight on the issue. Have you had problems? How did you deal with them?

Now, obviously, I have nothing against advice. Advice can come in handy, I'm sure! As proof, here I am asking it from you! (Though, one has to admit, you are a very reliable, wise, and educated source.) But sometimes, things can go too far.

Advice can turn into demands and can even turn into downright disrespectful treatment. I'm sure there are many out there just like me, waiting for your guidance on this. Please help us.....soon.

Dear Scaredy Cat,

First of all, no, I have never had a problem with my in laws. Oh, they may have had a problem or two with me, but that's besides the point.

What I will do is answer your question from an advice stand point. After all, as you say, that is my specialty.

Most everyone likes to give advice, but not everyone is as gifted as I in that department. Once in a blue moon, the advice given to you from others may be very good. Sometimes the advice stinks, to put it bluntly.

The problem with in laws (especially mother in laws) is that they feel they have every right to tell you what and how you should do this or that. You, to them, are now family - only worse.

Worse in that they think of you as a child. Clearly their child married another child - not an adult. Do you see what I mean?

This same issue may cause you conflict as well - if you see your in laws as "parental authorities" and think that you have to "obey" them and all their helpful advice.

Two things I would suggest...

  • Determine who rules the roost

    You are married folk now. You have a family that you are in charge of. Everyone else... their thoughts, opinions, whatever, really has no bearing on your family, anymore than your thoughts, opinions, whatever, plays a role in theirs.

  • Determine if their advice is well intended or not

    If they truly have your best interest at heart because they care about you, it's hard to be very angry... extremely annoyed maybe, but not very angry.

Now, if you feel that you are being disrespected, you could always tell them so.

Sometimes we make matters worse by just never saying what really is on our mind. By the time we finally have had enough, we end up telling them a thing or two or three... or a whole list of things that we can't stand about them. And that never turns out good.

Finally, Just tell your in laws that from now on you're going to get all your advice from me, Dr. Julia Chicken.

That right there should set their mind at ease... and end all your problems with in laws.

Dr. Julia

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Dealing With In Laws

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Call Um Like Ya Seez Um
by: Scruffy Bob

Dear Dr Julia,
Why don't youz take a seat and let me deal wit diss won for ya!

Dear... who ever youz are! When it comes ta dealin wit the In Laws, you gotta Calls Um Like Ya Seez Um, "OUT LAWS"! That's what they are, "OUT LAWS". I tell ya da trut!

My cousin's wife's uncle, in da slammer. My own brotha's cousin's husband's aunt's brother's girlfriend's father's sister's husband's brother's wife... in da slammer too, I also might add! Youz may be wonderin just what they are in da slammer for. What else? Bein "OUT LAWS"! So da next time youz need some advice on how ta deal wit your In Laws, just ax me.

For starters, always stay in the same room wit um so youz can keep a eye on um. Never let them go into the fridge if you have food in there cause they will take it - they always do! Do not ever hand them the remote cause when they leave, the batteries all of a sudden do not work properly because they have been switched. And lastly, what ever you do, do not have beverages in cartons, because they always end up with somebody's mouth prints on them other than yours!

So there you have it, who ever you are. And do not be feeling too bad that Dr. Julia let me set the record straight for ya!

Scruffy Bob
Fort Levenworth, Kansas

Thanks Scruffy, But....
by: Anonymous

Dear Dr. Julia,

Please give us your opinion on this matter. My in laws might drive me crazy, but I've never even consider that they might have broken the law!

I think I'll pull my hair out if I don't get some advice on how to deal with these crazies! This last comment only makes me worry more! Do I really need to watch them this carefully if they come into my home? Will they really switch the batteries in my remote control???

This matter is an emergency and I'd really appreciate any help that you could offer me.

Still remaining anonymous (for my own good)

We Get Thousands!
by: Lora (admin)

Dear "I understand your anonymity",

No, really we don't get thousands of inquiries, but we are kind of slow (and lazy). I can assure you that Dr. Julia is the person to help you in this, your dilemma.

I am sorry that you had to suffer Scubby's or Scruffy's - whatever his name is - post. If it weren't for your good humor and great response I would have deleted his!

Dr. Julia answers questions on a first come first serve basis, and if my calculations are correct.. um... let's see.... yes, there are no others. So, you're next.

Lora (Admin)

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