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BEFORE The First Date Advice

Or...
How to Avoid a Crummy Evening!

No, read the title again. This article is NOT going to give "first date advice". I'm going to talk about avoiding disaster.

You see, by using your noggin (just a bit) to begin with, you can spend nice, quiet evenings at home all by yourself.

Now, of course you're saying, "What? I want, to go out on dates. The last thing in the world I need is advice for staying home alone!"

Yeah? That's what you think.

How Many Times Have You...

  • sat in a restaurant longing for the waiter to bring your check... before they've even given you the menus?
  • wished you hadn't given your real telephone number - or your real name, for that matter?
  • hoped for a 25mph speed zone so that it wouldn't hurt so bad when you threw yourself from the moving car?

True, sometimes bad first dates are unavoidable, but nine times out of ten there were probably plenty of red flags that you ignored.

funny cartoon of an octopus getting advice about a bad first date

How To Not Have A Bad First Date

First of all, you need to know what it is that you're looking for in a date. What are your standards? What expectations do you have?

Sometimes our "standards" are pretty stupid, like... "Well, brown eyes and dimples are nice," but of course, that's not what I'm talking about.

I mean what type of people do you like?

Let's say you like the chatty type, someone that you can really hold a meaningful conversation with. Well, aren't you just asking for trouble if you go out on a date with a mime?

Usually, we have some opportunity to talk to our potential first date before we actually "seal the deal".

It would behoove you to use this time (however brief it may be) to analyze a little more than their sparkly teeth and pretty hair.

Is It Time To Get First Date Advice Or Stay Home And Wash Your Hair?

  • You may need advice if your friend has set you up on a blind date.

    If the person in question gets out of a tiny car wearing an orange wig and big, floppy shoes (followed by 10 to 15 others in similar attire) you may want to remember how dirty your hair is.

  • If you're talking to someone of interest and they mention that they like to travel, you may need first date advice.

    But if further on in the conversation they tell you the Arctic Circle is where they would love to raise a family, you should grab the closest towel and a bottle of shampoo.

  • If you like an entrepreneurial spirit and this person says that they haven't worked for anyone in ten years, go on and get some dating advice

    However, if they mean that they haven't worked for ANYONE and that you'll have to go halfsies on dinner, then... you know the routine, wash, rinse, repeat!

So, my "before the first date advice" is to use your eyes and your ears before you decide to go out on that date.

An evening or two at home is better than ending up in the hospital because there were no red lights and the lowest speed limit was 35mph!

Have You Had A Crummy Date?

Can you totally relate to Miss Octopus and her rotten date experience?
Tell Your Bad Date Story Here! And be sure to See What Others Have Said.

All done with Before the First Date Advice? Get some other Dating Ideas
Or go HOME for some more funny Advice


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