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First Day New Job No-Nos!

Funny cartoon of two worker bees discussing a request for time off from a new job.

Worker bee's first day new job. Gotta learn the ropes.

Inspired by and in answer to pj67olkskool's (I know, strange name) question, How to Tell Your Boss...

First day... new job, new boss - a little nerve wracking, eh? I really don't remember my first day with Dr. J. Mostly, and probably, because it was more of a gradual take over of my life. Before I knew it, I had a boss and I was working overtime without pay.

I have seen a few new employees come and go, however. Most of the time it was apparent rather quickly that they just weren't going to make it. I have to say, it wasn't Dr. Julia's fault, either.

Now, I work in what you might call a non-real job. Not a real job, and surely, not dream job. The advice that I am giving to you now is coming not from me per-say, but from several of Dr. J's clients (and a few of the fellas at my husband's office).

I ran what these folks said by Dr. Julia and she compiled a Top Ten First Day New Job To Don'ts. No, that wasn't a mistake (however grammatically incorrect it may be). Dr. Julia specifically wanted a To Don't list. And one of her big "to don'ts" is "don't argue up".

Your First Day New Job experience will be bad enough if you do everything great, so it's best to not make, well, stupid mistakes, right?

That's really all this top ten list is - stupid things to don't do!

First Day New Job
Top Ten To Don'ts...

  • 10. Argue
    Probably not the best idea to get into an argument with a coworker (or otherwise) on your first day. Best to let them call the sky green for now.
  • 9. Curse
    Fowl language if you must, but cursing is usually a shocker - first day or thereafter, really. Show some intelligence by using a broader vocabulary - like muttering and mumbling when you're angry, frustrated, or injured.
  • 8. Too Friendly
    You may be glad it's your coworker's birthday, but they do not want to stop by your house at 7:00 for some cake and ice-cream. Just be pleasant - don't weird people out!
  • 7. Too Shy
    Staring down at your desk all day and avoiding eye-contact with your new coworkers is another sure fire way to weird them out. Once again, a pleasant demeanor is the key.
  • 6. Monopolize
    Everyone's in the break-room. You walk in and immediately do your best rendition of a Robin Williams routine... which goes on for about fifteen minutes (but seems much longer). Try to remember two things... these people did not pay to see you and ninety percent of Robin William's ramblings get edited out.
  • 5. Confuse the CEO with the Pizza Delivery Guy
    It's best to know who the bigwigs are in order to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Complaining about the cold pizza to the CEO is probably just as bad as asking the pizza guy for his signature on a million dollar invoice.
  • 4. Ask a Lot of Questions
    It's your first day on the job, of course you're going to have questions, but don't question every little thing. A lot of your questions could be answered just by being observant... and clicking on the "Help" file.
  • 3. Under-dress
    If it's a professional office environment, don't show up "First Day New Job awkward" in flip-flops - casual Friday or not. And although a tie may not be necessary if your new job is life guard at the community pool, I can assure you that you need to wear more than sunscreen.
  • 2. Late
    Not only will being late stress the daylights out of you (which you need like a hole in the head on your first day), you'll have eagle eyes watching your every move for quite a while thereafter.
And the number one First Day New Job To Don't...
  • Ask for Time Off
    Yeah... why don't you just pack up your stuff and leave right now? I bet HR would grant you a permanent vacation - on the spot - starting that day. There had better be something so outrageously important (like your own death) to make you even consider such a request. Best to just take off your hat and coat and stay a while.

That's all we got folks. Congratulations on having a "first day" to be nervous about! Follow Dr. Julia's To Don't list and you'll be just fine.

Good luck!

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***Here's a writer who wants to know, "Over Dressed or Under Dressed - which is best?"***

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