How To Be A Friend
When Needy Friends Call
How To Be A Friend (to the needy)Clingy Friend...
Hello Dr. Julia,
I have a friend whom I met through nursing school. She is very thoughtful and sweet yet very clingy and needy of a friend's company.
She would come over at my house and spend 9 hours "Just hanging out" with me and my baby son. Then, I didn't mind - my husband was at work.
After nursing school, 3 years later, we have kept in touch as she moved back to her hometown. Now she calls me everyday to talk on the phone for 2 hours!
She is now going through a divorce, but this is not a new behavior, she's done this throughout our friendship, and quite frankly I don't have that much time to talk to her on the phone.
I started to NOT pick up her calls when I am spending time with my family. She would then complain the next time I talked to her and tells me, "Oh I haven't heard from you all day."
She is the type of person who stops talking to her friends if they can't be "involved" in her life as she expects! I mean, come on we are almost 30! Shouldn't she understand that other people have family and other things to tend to other than to listen to her "vent" all day?
That's what she does when we talk on the phone, she vents about the same thing. I tried to be there for her because of her divorce process, and I knew she needed some kind of support, but I am just thinking of cutting my friendship with her altogether because her expectations are unreasonable! What do I do? Am I being unreasonable?